Sight & Sound - Doug's Reviews

Sight & Sound
Five Short Films By Michael Heck

Reviews by Doug Mirabello
c. 1997

Together, Mike and I created the greatest Frame and Sequence project ever seen by the eyes of man: Silent Night. After working together on that masterpiece, we knew we had reached our creative heights and that everything afterward would be mere drivel. So we decided that if we were going to waste away the next three years and $90,000 of our lives, we may as well do it together. Man, Silent Night sure was good.

In our first semester together, each crew member was assigned five films of increasing complexity. Shot on 16mm reversal film with Arriflex cameras that cost more than we did, that camera case sure was heavy. Mike made predominantly serious films that actually had a purpose, as opposed to most of mine.

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Rabbit

A heartbroken man calls his girlfriend, who just misses the call. We follow them on their city journey until they almost meet, but don't.

Mike's first film was nice and simple, and the only thing of any interest that happened on the shoot (besides great filmmaking, of course), was when this taxi pulled over and all this green goo started shooting out of it. If it had happened thirty seconds earlier the goo would've spurted all over me, the wheelchair, and the camera, which is apparantly worth about 3.2 mil. There was this really cool shot where the camera panned, pulled focus, and other wonderful things, but that was lost when the four idiots on the crew opened the camera.

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Dream Horse

An innocent young girl dreams of dancing happily with a clown and a man with a horse's head. She is suddenly attacked by a Force of Ultimate Evil, who chases her through the forest, kills the clown and the horse headed man, and is about to kill her when she wakes up. Her boyfriend comes to pick her up and he looks suspiciously like the Force of Ultimate Evil.

There is just so much I could say about shooting this film. We had a great location in Central Park, even better than that of the crew that was shooting a movie directly across the lake. The clown was great, and the evil guy was evil. I was originally cast as the horse headed guy, but got cut because I dance like I'm on stimulants. Which leads us to the starring actress of Dream Horse, who shall remain nameless. Working with her was just so utterly terrible that we all contemplated suicide. I think even she was disgusted by her performance. Other than that, it was a lot of fun.

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Last Dance

A dancer dances her final performance.

I'm still not sure whether or not it's supposed to be the apocalypse while she's dancing. We used one light, which made everything look very "noir," a word I swore I'd never use in film school. Mike got an actual dancer who was actually good, and we snuck into a dance studio to shoot it. I got to wear a trench coat, Indy hat, and smoke a cigarette. Still a great film, although we rushed through it because some of us were paranoid about being caught. Not me.

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Vampire

On the eve of his twenty-first year, a vampire must go out into the night and find a mate. Let no one interfere with his quest.

This film is nearly, almost, but not quite as good as Silent Night was. We shot in between late-night subway trips and got yelled at by an old man for stealing electricity from the apartment building on the corner where we shot. We were, but he didn't have to yell. Any film that has footage of Hillary Clinton giving the camera the finger is good as is, but throw in vampires and Reuben kissing a man and it's even better. Mike was so excited he ran Marta into a metal pole and gave her a concussion.

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The Package

A very important mafia package transfer goes awry, and the package ends up in the hands of an innocent college student. The mob wants the package back and breaks some fingers to get it before chasing the student through the park. At the last minute the package is hurled into the river, much to the chagrin of the organized crime community.

Mike's final film begins with the most amazing shot Group Eight has ever pulled off. The camera goes from one room, to the next, out a window, and around the corner without any cuts. Yes, it's all accompanied by the Touch Of Evil music, because any shot that good just has to be. After a few practice runs we got it right, and the end result is worth watching over and over again. The acting was top-notch, especially the emotionally shattering finger-breaking scene. If only Marta could have followed the package through the air. Oh well, we still love her. This epic film also gets the award for Longest Title Sequence in any Sight and Sound Film, Ever. I think it's also the only time our credits weren't hand held. Very professional.

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